Station Agent B. Gardner
INDIVIDUAL: Bill Gardner
GROUP SIZE: 6, Pete & Jess, Mary & Jim, Kim & Toby
NATURE OF GROUP: Known Denver Colorado IS associates of Bill Gardner
INCIDENCE OF SOCIOMETRY: Station Agent B. Gardner
This report was originally published on a tri-fold display
at Sociometry Fair 2008 in Chicago.
IS Agent Peter M. Regenold Bergman TESTIMONIAL:
Bill Gardner comes and goes. My friend Toby, whom I’ve know since 3rd grade, introduced us. He told me a friend of his introduced Bill to him at a Cincinnati Reds game - in Cincinnati.
Bill showed up in Denver five or six years ago. He came to our bar-b-ques, IS events, Toby & Kim’s wedding - always on the bus. Jess & I moved away to Chicago in the Summer of 2005, and apparently Bill did too. He called Toby one day out of the blue to tell him he was moving back to Cincinatti. He gave Jim, who was living in our garage at the time, a mini-fridge. But then he moved back to Denver…
He showed up in Chicago one night. We had some Thai food and he left on public transportation.
At some point a theory developed that Bill was an actual agent, as in government…. He knew A LOT about politics and government machinations. He was really down on the Bush/Chaney/Rumsfeld thing. Bill was the Democratic Party bloc captain during the Bush/Kerry deal. He was always photocopying articles about national security. Despite being kind of an active political type, and totally left, Bill was no hippy. Jim and I always tried to get him to get high, but he’d never go for it. And he was clean-cut. He worked for some “office out-sourcing” place.
We never met anyone else Bill knew. Just Toby, and Toby’s wife Kim, who I went to Junior High with and is my wife Jess’s best friend and, Jim, who we all grew up with, and Jim’s girlfriend Mary who is my wife’s little sister.
No one ever went to Bill’s apartment or saw where he lived. No one knew too much about where he worked. We did meet one guy he worked with when we went out one night (see picture — Bill’s on the left.)
We moved back to Denver after a couple of years. Bill was in LA pursuing a career “in the film industry.” He sent me some buttons and a post-card from the Echo Park Film center. That really tripped me out because this IS agent Paolo Divanzo, who I was friends with in San Diego, one of the original IS posse, runs the place. The postcard was a crowd shot. I was looking for Paolo. I thought he might be this guy in the front row but only if he had gone bald.
Jess and I bought a house in Lakewood Colorado in Fall of 2007. I sent out an email invitation to the people on my address book. Imagine my surprise when Dick Cheney showed up! It was Bill, in a navy suit and mask.!? He had a white sedan “rental car”… “In from LA…”
We had a little occasion to talk out by the pool. Bill said he was working “in the film industry” and was looking at a transfer to the Southern Philippines. Apparently there is a lot of film production work there, but all Bill talked about was Abu Saief the southern Pilipino Muslim extremist group that kidnaps westerners for ransom. I told him how tripped out I was by that Echo Park film center deal, and how I knew the dude that ran it. Bill had a kind of nonchalant reaction. Like it was old news or something.
Anyway, Bills a good guy, a little mysterious. We want to go visit him in Cebu in the Philippines. I was a little concerned about the kidnapping deal though. He sent a picture of the “film production” place he works at. I guess he lives there too. He said its like a resort but also like a fortress.
Or maybe he’ll just show up next time we bar-b-que. “In from South East Asia…”
IS Agent Toby Saum TESTIMONIAL:
Summer 2000:
I met Bill Gardner in the summer of 2000 in Cincinnati. A good friend I’d made in Boston introduced us at a Memorial Day BBQ. I met several other interesting individuals that indicated they’d attended private
high school with Bill G. I was new to the city and was excited that they said they’d call me sometime…
I was sans their contact info and was a little disappointed to not hear from them. Three weeks later I receive a call.
Bill: “Hey Toby, this is Bill. Bill Gardner. You know, from the
Memorial Day BBQ.”
Toby: “Hey yeah. Great to hear from you. What’s shakin’?”
Bill: “What are you doing right now?”
Toby: “Nothing”
Bill: “Wanna go to the Reds game?”
Toby: “Sure. When?”
Bill: “Now. We’re on our way over to pick you up!”
Toby: “Fantastic!”
They arrived, we drove to Riverfront. Long story short we ended up sitting in the first four seat (read: front row) directly behind home plate vs. the Rockies. I called my mother on my brand new cellular telephone and told her to turn on the TV. I waved to her from behind the plate and “introduced” her to my new friend.
I moved in July of 2001 and cannot account for any of Bill’s activities until he arrived in Denver.
Summer 2005:
T: “Hello.”
B: “Hey it’s Bill. What are you doing?”
T: “Nothing, what’s up?”
B: “Like to drop by and chat with you about a couple things.”
T: “OK.”
Bill comes to the condo in Capitol Hill. Proceeds to tell me that he’s moving back to Cincinnati. “Wow,” I said. “When.”
B: “As soon as I’m done talking to you.”
T: “Well, shit. Good travels brother. Let’s hook when we can…”
Did Bill really go back to Cincinnati? I don’t know that I have any outside confirmation.
Fall 2006 (exact date unclear)
T: “Hello.”
B: “Hey Toby Bill. How you doing?”
T: “Hey Bill, great to hear from you. What happening with you?”
B: “Wondered if you wanted to get together for a couple drinks. Catch up.”
T: “Love to. You coming to town in the near term?”
B: “Yeah well, I live here now.”
T: “What ?!? Since when?”
B: “Oh, about three months now.”
T: “And you’re just calling now? Where in the heck are you living?”
B: “The 1500 block of Grant.”
He was calling to my residence on the 1100 block of Grant…
I received about 3 days notice that Bill was moving to LA. We took him for Cuban food on his last day. I did actually see where Bill was living. A nice efficiency. Bill donated some nice wicker patio furniture and an unopened bottle of Bombay Safire to my cause. Upon my return from work the following afternoon I noticed that Bill had donated an rolling office chair. It is on this chair I sit as I reflect upon my friend
Bill Gardner…
Highly intelligent, informed, always has something interesting to say, charming, and always smiling. Always happy to have occasion to see him. Perhaps he’ll pop in this afternoon?!?! As to where he really is, or what he’s really doing? Who’s to say? Not me.
IS Agent Kimberly Saum TESTIMONIAL:
You must add the part about the fairwell party prior to you moving to CHI. BG showed up on a bike with a cooler of beers. HE dropped off the Cooler and beer., left and came back later to reclaim the cooler. First of all how did he ride a bike with a cooler of beers and second where did he go after he dropped off the beer. Thirdly, why leave then return for the cooler.
Another mysterious happening is the blender he gave T and I for our wedding gift. It showed up wrapped outside our back door one Sunday morning. He left it there but when. And why not ring the door bell?
IS Agent Jim Hanson TESTIMONIAL:
I don’t remember the first time I met Mr. Bill Gardner, though I am sure it was at a bar-be-que hosted by Pete and Jess. My apologies for not remembering as I was probably three sheets to the wind, loaded, blotto, wasted, baked…. I do remember learning of the circumstances that led to Bill meeting Toby, then Pete and the rest of us. I initially wrote it off as being ” a small world coincidence”, but now I am not so sure…Bill called me out of the blue one afternoon in 2005, saying he had been “cleaning out his office in Denver” and wanted to give me a dorm style mini fridge. A couch or office furniture I could understand, but a freshly cleaned dorm style mini fridge? It was then I started having my suspicions of Bill, I mean really, who gives away a perfectly good dorm style mini fridge?
Mary, Bill and I went to a rock show at the Larimer Lounge shortly thereafter… that was the last I saw of him.
Fast forward to 2007. Pete and Jess move back to Denver, I am living in a garage in Laramie, Wy. and Bill’s whereabouts are unknown, working in his “film industry” job. Pete invited me to his ” We’ve moved back to Denver!” party-be-que. Food is eaten, drinks are had, good times partying with old friends in a new home. Too early to be late, but too late to be fashionable, a knock on the door…. who should it be? Mr. Bill Gardner, suited, in a Dick Chaney mask! Whoo hoo let the festivities begin, this must be a party if Bill flies in from parts unknown to grace us with his pesence, so good to see him. Things get a little fuzzy… drinking, smoking, talking, drinking….Next thing I know, it’s like 1:30 in the morning and I am looking for a warm garage to pass out in. Bill is still hanging, as personable as ever and he says to me ” Handsome Jim Hanson.” That’s it, “handsome Jim Hanson.”, over and over, as if he is placing it in memory… “handsome Jim Hanson, handsome Jim Hanson….” Well, how did Bill know that “handsome Jim Hanson” was the nickname given to me by Pete’s sister Jill like 20 years ago? Or that handsomejimhanson@hotmail.com is my e-mail account I have had for years? Bill never e-mailed me, or hasn’t since. Yet he knew! The next morning, after Mr. Gardner left for parts unknown, I expressed my suspicion of Mr. Gardner being an agent, to my suprise, Jess had formulated the very same suspicion as I! Small world coincidence? Hmmm……One thing is sure, I hope to see Bill again and if he is indeed an agent, I hope that he continues to raise my suspicions yet never spills the beans.
INSTITUTE OF SOCIOMETRY CONCLUSION: It’s hard to draw much of a conclusion about Station Agent Bill G… He may be a fairly straight-laced guy, taking advantage of the expanding global economy, keeping up on current affairs, and taking an active role in his American civic life.
There is little evidence to indicate that IS would be the target of any type of undercover infiltration. IS does indeed embroil IS-self in radical seditious activity. IS feels however, that in the post-911 climate, Yippie inspired domestic pranktavist squads seem less of a threat to American power than dirty bomb toting jihadis. Perhaps Nixon era “rat-squad” infiltration of protest groups by government agents has given way to foreign assignments in hot-spots of Muslim extremist activity - places like the southern Phillipines.
Tags: Guerilla Sociometry, Institute of Sociometry, is, is agent, Sociometry Fair